i barfeds in our rink
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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