i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
