Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
