yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am available for nakedness
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
