she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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