Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
