I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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