dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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