I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
