tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You can't motorboat a personality
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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