I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
the raccoons are back...
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