Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
