I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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