like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize