They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
