i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
false alarm, still single
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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