I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
handjob tips. give me some.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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