Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
