i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
