I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize