Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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