I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
