what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
