If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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