Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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