bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
