She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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