Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
