Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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