I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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