What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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