Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
