no, he came in my armpit
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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