Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
