I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
