My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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