So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
