He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
