Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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