M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
