yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
