My room smells like vodka and shame
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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