What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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