I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
