Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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