dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
