Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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