Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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