I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
