He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
