woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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