dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
