he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
