so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
