I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize