For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
