You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
