So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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