We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
