How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
