First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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