I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
