I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
