Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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